Farewell, Zembla magazine

A cheery letter from PricewaterhouseCoopers (whose very name with its bizarre and ugly lack of spaces and arbitrary use of capitalisation sets my teeth on edge) announces that Zembla Magazine has now fulfilled its ever present promise to go bust.

Set up by Simon Finch Rare Books Ltd (also deceased) it was always a bit of a dog's dinner; a cross between a wannabee Vogue and a sixth-form school magazine.  Still, I did my bit to support this triumph of hope over market economics and subscribed.  All of which has bought me eight, surely now, highly collectible, issues of Zembla and an inventive letter from those bean counters who set my teeth on edge.  (Perhaps I should be charitable and assume that they're trying to save paper by omitting the spaces between words.)

How about this for creative accountancy?

"Whilst there appeared to be a number of owners of Zembla, only the Company appeared to have contributed cash towards the operating expenses.  There have been eight editions to date with a ninth in the planning stages.

As at 3 October 2005 the magazine had one part-time employee; all other workers and subscribers acted on a voluntary basis.

An offer was received in respect of the magazine; however, the offer did not contain any cash element.  The offer was therefore declined.

It is difficult to place a value on this asset as it had incurred costs exceeding £400,000 and had very little by way of tangible value to reflect this investment."

Well, yes, I suppose as a subscriber you could describe me as acting on a voluntary basis.  And as for running costs of £400,000, I suspect that figure exceeds the entire budget for the rest of the UK's literary magazines put together.  Really, I can't decide whether I feel cross or a grudging admiration for the fact that they managed to fail in such splendid style.

Comments

[Ella]

I used to work for PwC, briefly, as a temp, and that logo always made my eyes hurt. They had it on letterhead, envelopes, business cards - pretty much every piece of paper in my little office - and being in such an environment was incrediably irritating, one felt surrounded by poor spacing and misplaced capitalization. Even now I can't look at their ads without wincing. Anyway, glad it's not just me!

[Sandra]

No, it's definitely not just you.

The firm I work for has abandoned capital letters entirely. Every newsletter or briefing we publish looks like it was written by six year olds. My teeth are nearly gone from the constant grinding.

[Ella]

I feel your pain on that one too, Sandra. Every time I see a blog written entirely without caps I get an instant ice-pick-to-the-sinuses headache."It's all right", I want to shout, "Let those big letters come out to play! Capitalize your 'I's! We'll still think you're edgy and artistic!"

[The Pug]

I also had just re-subscribed when I received the amusing missive - my first ever letter as a creditor! I would really like to find back issues of Zembla as i only have 5 of the eight. anyone got any ideas? thanks

[hani]

You are all crazy, Zembla's design won so may prestigious design awards around the world. Try to think out side the box for a change.

[Endalida]

While dunging out the house, I came across the only issue of Zembla magazine I ever bought, issue 3.

Rather than bin it, do you know of anyone who would like this rather unfortunate magazine?

[Benji]

I would!

B. Reed
Box 49617
Austin, TX 78765

I'll send something back. Art trade.