Bloom syndrome

With the assistance of several helpful people who left comments on yesterday's post, I think I have diagnosed the cause of my current reading slump.

My symptoms include deep sighs induced by looking at a pile of heavyweight, interesting-when-picked-up books which, sadly, are just not being picked up.  Also, an over reliance on bookish journals with their short-ish articles about books instead of reading actual books.  Then there's the odd sensation of having nothing to read while being surrounded by piles of unread books.  This is complicated by a partial paralysis of my right arm which refuses to reach out and pick alluring books off the shelves.

It's serious.  I think I have Bloom Syndrome: a condition in which the sufferer is unable to read any work of literature unless it is deemed Significant by Harold Bloom and which often results in the reader losing the will to live/read, crushed under the weight of canonical imperatives.  The Syndrome develops gradually with the sufferer firstly accepting the notion that some books are better than others, placing undue emphasis on books which have won prizes or been favourably reviewed by The Clever People in newspapers.  This begins the descent into genre deprecation in which all romance/chick lit is dismissed as unreadable, followed gradually by an inability to stomach any fantasy, sci-fi, thrillers and finally, mystery novels (these are the last genre to be abandoned because Clever People occasionally admit to reading them as a guilty pleasure).  Thereafter sufferers quickly develop Classic monomania, a state of mind in which the literary tastes of the now emaciated reader have become so distorted that she can take only small doses of books endorsed by His Bloomness as being Works Of Genius.  If left untreated, the Syndrome can result in a fatal loss of the love of reading.

Treatment consists of persuading the deluded patient that the world will not end, her brain will not rot, her blog readers will not scorn her, if she reads a book for pure pleasure irrespective of the name on the cover or what The Clever People think of it.  If this can be achieved then small doses of light reading should be administered at frequent intervals.  Care should be taken not to expose the convalescent reader to any over-hyped contemporary fiction as this may cause a serious relapse.  Once treatment is deemed successful, and the reader has regained her zest for life and reading, all infected copies of The Karamazov Brothers will need to be burnt to avoid subsequent re-infection. 

In order to start treatment immediately I have been prowling the bookshelves (any excuse!) but my 'reading for pure pleasure' muscles seem to have atrophied and I absolutely cannot decide what to read.  I need help here.  These are the criteria : it has to be short, I cannot face anything long and time-consuming; it has to be plotty but not just a mindless page-turner and it can't be too trashy because that will just induce a relapse.  My unread contemporary fiction list is here and there are separate lists for historical fiction set in the eighteenth century and other periods.   I know from experience that you lot are incredibly well read, so does anything on my list leap out at you as a really good read or do you have suggestions for books not on the list?  All help (and I need it!) gratefully received.

Comments

[Janice]

1)Wideacre
2)A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
3)Alias Grace
4)A Respectable Trade
5)Outlander (also called Cross Stitch the first one? I haven't read the others)
6)Oranges are not the Only Fruit
7) Middlesex

:)

[Diana]

I don't have anything to offer except to say that I am right there with you and am in awe of how you expressed this. "Spot on," as you say over there. :)

I will follow with interest the developments.

[callie]

Because I always think it's good to toss in some modern fiction at least once in awhile, here are a few short-but-good ones from your unread list that stand out for me:

Written on the Body- Jeanette Winterson
The Biographer's Tale - A S Byatt
Garner - Kirstin Allio (now, I didn't love this book, but so many did and it is short. I'd be curious to get your insight after you've read it.)

If you require a bit more plot, I'd go with AS Byatt. If you can handle some musings on love and sex written in the 2nd person (yes, that's right 2nd person), Winterson's your girl. Woman. Whatever.

Let us know what path you take. And for God's sake, ENJOY your brief respite from all that BLOOM stuff! :-)

[Susan]

The People's Act of Love.

any of the Margaret Atwoods

Enduring Love (one of the best first chapters ever)

The Salterton Trilogy

[citronyella]

Browsed your other site, saw that the Good Soldier is on your list of unread 20c, Walk (do not run) to your bookshelf and devour this book immediately. Forget about the criticism, the unreliable (they say) narrator, just let the wonderfulness of Fordie's style wash your slump away. If you have already read it, sorry! that was my one big illumination! I am in a reading slump too but its due to too long hours at work now and spring fever. it will pass, I promise!

[Jodie]

In order of priorities:

If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things
Jack Maggs
The Blind Assassin
Oryx and Crake
A Spectacle of Corruption

Once you're feeling more recovered I suggest progressing to Blonde or The Amber Spyglass.

[Sylvia]

The really sad thing about Bloom Syndrome is that the afflicted actually believe they enjoy "significant" literature more than they would lighter fare. They take pleasure only literature that tackles the ultimate questions in an elaborate and beautiful manner, and once they've tasted those rare delights they can't go back. Bloom Syndrome may be incurable, but if patients are treated regularly with giant, difficult tomes from Mr. Bloom's list they should be able to live happy and productive lives.

[Victoria]

The first step on the road to recovery is admitting that you have a problem... :-) There are some amazingly good books on your 20thC list; I would shuffle the following to the top of the pile:

*'Alias Grace' - Margaret Atwood (my favourite Atwood novel, even above 'The Handmaid's Tale', which is pretty damn seminal.)
*'The People's Act of Love' - James Meek
*'Perdido Street Station' - China Mieville (a book with an ending so juicy and satisfying, so heart-breaking and heart-building, that it can stand up with the very best Classics. It isn't short, I know, but its so worth it.)
*'We Need to Talk about Kevin' - Lionel Shriver (If there is a page-turner on your list then this is it...)

Books that are not on your list but should be:

'Gilead' - Marilynne Robinson (This or 'Housekeeping'; both are short and moving.)
'Master and Commander' - Patrick O'Brian (Plot, action, character and snappy prose; its like therapy. And its not too long.)
'A Spell of Winter' - Helen Dunmore (Short, with incest.)
*'History of Love' - Nicole Krauss

I also heartily recommend 'Mother's Milk' by Edward St Aubyn but I think, perhaps, it has too much of the Bloom about it. Perhaps best to stay clear until you're out of the slump. :-)

[Lisa Jean]

The Book Thief
Z for Zachariah
With
Kissing the Beehive
Red Weather
The Sky Unwashed
The Brief History of the Dead

I have read these books within the last two years and each one sticks with me for one reason or another.

[Stefanie]

Your post made me laugh even though Bloom Syndrome is no laughing matter. It was great fun looking over your lists.

Any of the Atwoods will do though I'd say Alias Grace is your best bet. American Gods is great but since you read Gaiman not long ago you might not want another one so soon. The Earthsea books are plot-filled fast reads yet thoughtful. Mists of Avalon is fun if you are willing to go for something longer. And Outlander, though long, reads fast and is great fun. I've not met anyone yet who hasn't liked it.

Good luck!

[Eva]

I loved, loved your post! You definitely hit the nail on the head. I'm rooting for the following four:

I loved Life of Pi, and I think that it's a really uplifting read. I'd definitely put this on the short list.

The Dante Club was really good as well: a book for people who love American writers. It was a fast, not-too-taxing read. It'd be a good way to break out of a rut.

Amber Spyglass was very fast paced: if you're looking for something w/ a great plot, go for this one.

The Master is a lot like the Dante Club. It's a gentle, slow-moving book that goes great w/ a cup of tea.

[Dorothy W.]

Philip Pullman, definitely. I love that you've identified "Bloom syndrome" -- I've had it before, and it's so relieving to realize there's a name I can put on it, and a cure too!

[Rohan Maitzen]

Try Dunnett's The Game of Kings (on your unread historical fiction list). It has richly developed characters, lots of action, a satisfyingly complex and intriguing plot...and once you're hooked, there are five more novels in the series.

[Isabella]

There are so many good books on those lists, it's hard to choose (but you already know that). And, of course, ultimately you have to decide for yourself what is right for you, now (which you already have). I just wanted to say how delighted I am to see Amin Maalouf's Samarkand on the list — I think he's a master story-teller, everything of his has a fairy-tale quality. I've been meaning to reread it myself. This one gets my vote.

[jenclair]

I like Bloom, enjoy significant literature, and love mysteries, historical fiction, high adventure, fantasy, and fairy tales. I can't live without my lighter fare! Which, of course, is often pretty dark stuff...

[Melanie]

Three books from your lists that I loved:
Alias Grace (for a nice thick historical), The Cave (his style carries you along like a boat over a rough sea), and Confessions of a pagan nun (just because it's a great read). Good luck; I know that feeling of having nothing to read despite the 15 tbr bookshelves in the house!

[Fitzroy Cyclonic]

I'm sure suggestions for things that aren't on your lists aren't particularly helpful, but I notice that while you have got the immensely enjoyable Dance to the Music of Time on there, you haven't got any of Powell's early novels.

These perhaps don't have the depth or sublime control of tone of the Dance sequence, but importantly they are EXTREMELY FUNNY, and you don't feel that you are embarking on something unwieldy (which Dance isn't in the slightest, but I can understand why it might FEEL like it).

I would strongly recommend From a View to a Death - very, very amusing, and also bleak, but without ever being depressing.

Fitz Psyche

[fredricktoo]

lets read some Dorothy Parker, PJ Wodehouse, some SJ Perlman, any Marx Bros books you can find. Woody Allen, George Carlin.
any of these will reduce the drama level to an easier to cope with degree.
Infinite Jest is hilarious, I think I cracked a few ribs the first time I read it.. Go through it the first time and just scan the footnotes.
Very good luck to you.
Gary

[Richard Gladstein]

I enjoyed your article very much. I am a film producer often annoyed by critics responses, which certainly point to missing the joy of film-making and film-watching.

While I am not remotely politcially correct and applaud the premise and humor of your article, I am also the founder of the real BLOOM'S SYNDROME FOUNDATION. Bloom's syndrome is a real disease and a pretty nasty one. Thought you should know.